Demon Day 3- The Perfect World
There were days much like this one that shaped up to be regular, typical scenarios. Not much to process, the coffee was the same stale, the breakfast was the same, just eggs. I wanted to shout, I wanted to scream, somedays I got so sick of days that were much like everybody else’s bland boring schedule. It was days like these that as a child I would run against the wind, I would want it to rain, I would want it to storm because it was the promise of something different, something more important.
I would search through the sky so vigorously as if I was deciphering some kind of ancient secret unknown to the world. I was hypnotized by the stars, entranced by the universe, enriched by the whistling wind, and the gentle rain. Done with the world id leave my bland morning on pause back at home. I was in a golf course now….how down on my luck was I, really? From boring to death by boredom. Nobody watched golf unless they wanted to die from boredom, right? Good sleep medication, ill take note of it.
I was here with company, when did that happen? This beautiful spanish girl who was loyal to me, who loved me but part of me felt indifferent to her. I didn’t blame her nor did I hurt her nor did I plan to. I kept her for as long as I could because her company was so welcome and her honesty was what I needed then…what was missing was the fire. The same fire I got when I looked up at the universe..
This time as a teen I looked up at the sky to get lost once more. How beautiful and dark it was. The raging grey skies fading the blue, the thunder roaring much like the lion heart within me, the lightening guiding me home. It was in these moments that I felt time pause, I felt my heart beat without my hand against my chest and I floated through my thoughts. I was running away, always running away…escaping my reality, forgive me.
The rain got heavy but we didn’t mind, a kiss was shared between us. Forgive me..I looked back up at the sky and thought. There’s a perfect world out there, maybe its in death, maybe its in our minds but we have to create it. As a child I was so addicted to the reality these creations were gifted to live in. From final fantasy, from the books I read, to Alice, to the nightmares in silent hill. Yes even the darkness was divine, why was I not happy with the reality here? No, that wasn’t true. I am happy with the reality here but we are missing the point of it all, yes that was the problem. Forgive me society but you don’t live in the perfect world because you have enslaved it.
I want to run away so badly because your system doesn’t apply to the soul, it applies to your agenda. This is convenient for you, for us to live this way but it never was convenient for me. Forgive me religion but my thoughts are far too abstract, forgive me god but I know you aren’t a man..in fact the chances of you bearing a figure are slim to none. Ive thought about it long and hard and have concluded on my own accord that you are the Universe. The truth is for those who read this….the perfect world exists within you and together with our worlds we are the universe as well. More so there truly is nothing for you to be sorry about and neither do I, lets run away to the perfect world together in unison.
(Photography by Junseisynn)