Demon Day 1- Window Of Opportunity
Here I am again looking out at the window and thinking about this beautiful conceptual love so many of us die searching for. I can see the rain fall and I imagine them to be like the hearts of so many people falling in love only to be on a crash course straight to the ground. How does it feel? I ask them. How does it feel to touch the gray and find out it’s cold that it isn’t the warm arms you sought after. I’ve been torn apart that much is true, i’ve missed my window of opportunity that much is also true.
What else is there to do besides drink it down with some whiskey? Jack Daniels preferably. I watch the rain like a scientist picking apart his favorite experiment and just like that the idea invades my mind without consent given. These thoughts tend to rape my mind like the demons that haunted me as a child, they never let up nor will the rain. Not right now, right now it’s needed. That’s what I tell myself…that this battle is needed and so I fight it. The idea was that of a very simple true- in a way we are all scientists picking apart the emotions of these horrid yet beautiful beings we call humans. Is not love a combination of all emotions? Rarely have I seen someone love without hating parts and ideologies and perspectives that they just couldn’t come to grips with agreeing. Rarely have I ever seen someone love without feeling some kind of envy be it from others giving attention to this person you “love” or the person you “love” somehow being everything you look up to and everything you are not.
I am a scientist too in a way see because I pick apart all of you, I pick apart myself. You made me, and I make you isn’t it wonderful? I stare out at the rain again counting each drop but of course fighting a pointless battle. That’s what love is so i’ll let it come…i’ll let it come I say but when it arrives I won’t know who I am anymore. Certainly not the scientist, certainly not a human maybe just a demon…maybe i’ve finally become just like them. You are welcome mind, i’ve succumb to you and I love you. There it is again, finally…love.
(Photograph by Junseisynn)